15. Talking Mental Health and Being a Stay At Home Dad with Guest Colin Cerniglia

In this heartfelt and honest episode, Colin shares his journey of transitioning from a high-stress corporate job to becoming a stay-at-home dad. What started as an offhand comment to his wife turned into one of the most challenging yet rewarding decisions of his life. We discuss:  

• The toxic work environment that pushed him to rethink his priorities.  
• The struggles of balancing work and unreliable childcare for our two young daughters.  
• The mental and emotional challenges of leaving behind a corporate career 
• How therapy helped him navigate the difficult transition and process his new identity.  
• The joy and fulfillment of prioritizing family and fully embracing the role of a stay-at-home dad.  

Key Takeaways:

• Prioritizing your family doesn’t mean giving up on your passions—it’s about finding a new rhythm.  
• Transitioning into a new role, especially one outside societal norms, takes time and mental adjustment.  
• It’s okay to ask for help, seek therapy, and take things one step at a time.  

Connect with Colin Cerniglia: 

• Instagram / Threads / X / LinkedIn: @cjcernig
• Website: https://cernig.com/
• Email: cjcernig@gmail.com

Cheers! Thank you for joining us for another episode. Have a chaotic moment, question, or topic you want us to cover? Drop us a message or leave a review! If you loved this episode, share it with a friend who thrives in beautiful chaos too.

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Transcript

0:35

Welcome back to the podcast today. I am super excited to introduce our guests colon He's a dad of two little girls living in North Carolina with his wife. He loves Penn state football, the Yankees and craft beer. How do I know that? I just knew. Um, last September, he quit corporate America to be a stay at home dad. And trust me, it's been old while year. We are going to talk all about it. And he is going to talk about self discovery and learning, and we're going to dive into the topic of mental health. So sit back, sip on your coffee and let's dive in. So welcome to the podcast. And I'm like, really excited. I know that we were talking before we started hitting record, and my listeners know this, but I used to work in the mental health field and I did that for 10 years. So I'm like, really excited to talk to you about kind of like your chaotic moment. So why don't you start us off with that? Like, tell us your story. Sure, sure. Well, first, thank you, Whitney. I appreciate the opportunity to be on the podcast and I really enjoy the work that you do in general. So yeah, my chaotic moment. I really started, I was thinking about this in preparation for today, I think it really started in February of 2003, uh, so I'll go through this as concisely as I can. I had just gotten off parental leave with my second daughter, Aria, and I get back to work. I'm working at a tech startup job. I really, really liked. I was in talent acquisition. I was leading the department. We were, we had acquired a company the year before. So, you know, things were like, just looking good, good, good. And there had been like rumblings and things like that. If you remember back in that time, the tech period in particular was getting hit pretty hard with layoffs and whatnot. So I just get back and I'm there for two weeks and it just feels weird. But I'm like, yeah, I've been gone for a couple of months. Like, of course it's going to feel weird. And then I show up one day and the woman who was our people ops manager, who I worked very closely with was also on leave and she messaged me from. Um, from Slack and I was like, she messaged me asking to, you know, come on a zoom call and I was like, Oh no, if she's asking me to come on a call, like this is not good. Uh, I, I'd been through layoffs before, you know, with, uh, COVID and, and everything. And even before that, and, um, yeah, so long story short, I ended up being part of a pretty extensive layoff for that size of company. We're. Roughly around 100 employees, and I think we laid off like 25 percent on on that one day. So, um, It was difficult because like I said, it was a job that I really liked and I was really happy and excited. And I, uh, went through the next few months, just trying to figure out like, okay, what am I going to do? So I ended up getting a job that on paper looked even better. Then what I was doing, it was a pay raise. It was the chance to lead a global, uh, talent acquisition department. I knew almost immediately that it wasn't the right fit for me from a cultural perspective. There was a lot of toxicity in the way that people were expected to work and the things that we were expected to do. So I grinded it out for as long as I could and along. The same time period, we were having difficulty finding reliable childcare for our two daughters. At the time, they were, uh, just turning three and not even one. And, um, so yeah, we were, it was stressful. Um, you know, I had a lot of, and I'll get more into this. You know, like you said, with mental health, if you want, but I had a lot of things building up from being laid off and then getting into this very toxic work environment that were affecting me mentally speaking, like I was having trouble sleeping and, you know, different things like that. And offhandedly, one day I just said to my wife, I was like, you know, if it really comes to it, if we can't find anyone who is going to take care of our girls the way we want to, because we didn't want to send them to like a traditional daycare, we wanted to have them, you know, at the house and there's a ton of kids in our neighborhood and it had worked out for a long time and then like COVID kind of slowly went away and everyone went. It slowly went back to the way things were prior to that, and that meant, like, a lot of instability for us. And, uh, like I said, I just said to her offhandedly, I'll quit my job. I hate it. I, I, I fucking hate it. That'll be my one F bomb, you know, for, for the episode. And We got to a point where we had our second nanny within like a month and a half, um, just not show up one day and, you know, both of us working full time. That's really not ideal, obviously. And so, uh, on that day when we knew she wasn't coming. I put my head down for like half a second and then I was like, okay, we already talked about this. Like we had a very serious, once I had that offhanded comment, we had a very serious talk about it and we were like, okay, this is how it could work and this is what we would do and everything. I put my head down. I was like, Okay, this is it. I'm quitting my job and I'm going to be a stay at home dad. Put my resignation in that day. That was September of 2023. My final day was September 30th of 2023. And, you know, fast forward to December 4th now. And, uh, I have been, uh, of 2024. So, it's been over a year where my primary job is a stay at home dad. Dad, uh, for my two girls. One of them is in school part time now, pre K, um, and then the other one is home with me all day long. And I never, for a single second, doubted the decision. However It was very difficult to transition, like, there was so much, um, a lot of it had to do with the, the mind games of you work and you get paid for your work. I was 14 when I started working, I was 34 when I quit. corporate America. So I had 20 years of in my head, like, this is, this is how things work. And so it wasn't even like, Oh, I'm the man in the family when we have a traditional marriage, I have a wife and two kids. And so it wasn't even that, it was just more like, I'm used to bringing in money because I've been doing it for 20 years. Right. And I voluntarily, you know, gave it up. I voluntarily gave up a leadership position, making six figures for a global organization to stay home with my kids. So there's a lot of that right there was like, okay, I had already started therapy, um, back in July of 2023 to try to get through the toxic work environment that I was in. And I had done therapy in the past, um, so I was restarting, I guess you could say. You know, that was something I had to work through. I think another hard thing for me, and this is something I'm still working on, is I have a hard time just sitting still. Um, and there is plenty you can do with the kids. Like, don't get me wrong. They, uh, you know, they'll take up a ton of your time, but like, you know, right now, for example, they're both napping. And, you know, so I knew I always had Like a window in the afternoon where I could do something and I just said yes to way too many, like side gigs right away. Like my old boss wanted to do something. I wanted to get into writing again. Um, I, my wife even needed help with recruiting at her company and everything. So I was like doing all this stuff and the math didn't math as my wife likes to say. Yeah. And in November of 23, I had like, What I can only describe as a legit nervous breakdown like I was sitting right here at this desk. It was in the corner I've rearranged my office since then but I just remember sitting here and Like losing feeling in my body and like kind of shaking and whatever and you know, this is late at late at night I'm trying to you know, finish up work because I have too much work and not enough time And I'm not supposed to be working. I'm supposed to be Taking care of the kids right like that's supposed to be My primary job. So the first few months were a really tough transition into just understanding like. Hey, you're a dad and that's always been your job, but it's even more like your job now, every single day, being with them, taking them to their extracurriculars, having fun with them, spending downtime with them, teaching them, you know, all that type of stuff, and this year, 2024 has been awesome. Way better for so many different reasons. I, I didn't get laid off. I didn't work for a toxic environment or boss. Um, you know, I've really learned that writing is like what I want to do. So when I have some free time and I want to write, I've been working on a few different things like a novel and I write for a sports website on a more regular basis and, and everything. But really, yeah. Like, when people ask me, I'm like, yeah, I'm a stay at home dad. Like, those kids are my priority. Every single thing that they need to do. I am the one who has to do it. My wife is the one floating us financially right now. She has to work. She cannot, you know, take the kids, pick them up, take them to swim, take them to soccer, take them, you know, whatever they're doing and, and be expected to get her job done. Um, so. Yeah, we've, we've done a good job of kind of, I wouldn't say we've mastered it, you know, by any means. But we definitely, we definitely have a better flow. Um, and I'm definitely more comfortable just saying like, Hey, this, this is who I am. And again, it just, it never had anything to do with like not wanting to do it. It was just kind of breaking through some of those mental barriers that made it difficult. Yeah. I mean, that's amazing. Um, I can totally relate to you about like Leaving a job. I had a rough pregnancy. And so I actually left my job, which was just demanding in, in different ways. And I actually retired from the mental health field in order to focus on being better, for myself during my, my last, my last pregnancy. And so I totally, I totally get where you're coming from. Like I've been there. I've had those like late nights, like, Oh my God, like, you know, and my, my husband is so supportive, which I'm assuming your wife has been amazing. And I mean, I know our listeners can't see you right now, but you totally have dad vibes. You have like the backwards on hat. You got like the baseball tee on, um, I, you know, so. It's, it's quite obvious. In some of my other interviews, we talked about like, having this like mom vibe, about us and you definitely have the dad vibe going on. Um, so yeah, so I mean, gosh, you kind of touched on so many things. I don't even know like where to really start is because you just went and you answered like, I had like a list of questions and now you just answered them all already. So we're, we're getting a lot of good stuff. And I think it's really important that, like, you know, people listen, because, you know, it's not just moms out there, and that people can understand that, like, either the mom or the dad or whoever, you know, a grandparent, a caregiver, can stay with the children and be a perfectly fine family. It's not, you're, so, you know. Traditional back, you know, Stafford Wives type of thing, um, anymore. And I mean, I, I know that I'm personally lucky. We have a third person who lives with us. He's like my brother in law, um, but he's like a friend who's like family now, and we got really lucky and we have kind of this living babysitter. Um, and not, not many people are like that. And I, too, am only part time right now, and so I help my old boss, uh, not toxic like your old boss was, but, I help my old boss get some organizational things done. I'm kind of like their virtual assistant. I'm like so, so impressed by your story, um, and that you have, I know this is like the first time me and you have like seen each other like face to face and talked. And so, what my like favorite thing, about your story was how you are just so open with like talking about like Yes, I quit my job. Yes, I did go through all the fears. It wasn't easy. And it's not, you know, it's not meant to be easy. You know, someone who quits their job is gonna have these kind of like night sweats, you know, in the middle of the night. And It's like so refreshing to hear someone actually talk about that because not a lot of people will like talk about it or they'll just talk to their partner and not really like put it out there in the world. But I think that's a lot of stories. Um, a lot of people out there are probably feeling the same way that you have felt. And you're kind of like a testament that like, Yes, it's okay to feel these things and you'll come out on the other side. Right. So yeah, it, I, um, I wrote about it because I liked to write Yeah. That it was like the outlet to, to just get it out, you know, when I wasn't in therapy, which was only, you know, for 45 minutes once a week, um mm-hmm And sometimes that just wasn't enough and I was just amazed. Whether it was men, women, early career, late career, retired, like, the amount of people who have reached out to me when I've written articles specifically talking about my mental health has been overwhelming at times. Like, I literally had to take days to respond to people. Not so much because it was overwhelming in the sense of the number of people, although there were more people than I ever thought would reach out to me. But, um, Because it's like, that vulnerability that you're tapping into, like, it already knocks the wind out of me, so to speak, to write something like that, because you're tapping into all that vulnerability, and then to have people share what it means to them to read about it, or how they can relate, or experiences that they've had, like, that's not something you just want to hit a quick response to and be like, ha ha, cool, you know, or whatever, like you want to, you want to take some time to be thoughtful and respond to them, because whether or not, you know, people truly believe this, because we live in such a capitalistic America, you know, type environment, a lot of people are suffering more than they let on. And, um, You know, sometimes that, that little gentle reminder doesn't mean that they're gonna quit their job like I did, right? But maybe it helps them. I don't know, go to therapy, or go to yoga, or get out for a run, or read a book, or watch their favorite television show, whatever it is, or hang out with their friends, or go have a beer, whatever it is that self care for them means. Like, sometimes people just need that reminder and, because you get, you get stuck in that, the grind of every single day. And so, I like to, I, I like that they're out there. I wouldn't say that I, I like writing them, necessarily outside of the fact that it, it just, Gets it off my shoulders and out of my head, and everything, because I, I do feel kind of wiped afterward, like it's, it's just, it's a different type of writing than anything I do, but overwhelmingly, it's the most impactful writing that I've ever done, like I, I don't get the type of views or the type of comments or the engagement in general from any of the other writing that I do, in comparison to, you know, those type of things. So it has been, I think the last one I did was around that one year, anniversary, and again, just people that, people that I haven't even thought about, you know, forever reaching out. When, when I feel like I have something real to say, I'll do it. It's not like I have a schedule for it, like I'm Right, yeah. Um, you know, and, and things like that, but it is something where I want to keep doing it, even though It takes a lot out of me because I, I know the reward is more than just about me. It really helps others. Yeah. I mean, that's so true. And, and there's a lot of people who, you know, I would say an actionable step that they can take if they're feeling these things too is like they can write and start a journal. It doesn't necessarily have to be published out to the world. I, I actually saw this one, I think it was on like TikTok or something, where, parents, they actually gave their kids like composition notebooks. And it was like, if you want to write something down that you don't, you know, that you might feel embarrassed or a thought that you want to get out, but it's too embarrassing to talk to us face to face on. It was like this whole, You can write it in this book and then put it in this box and at the end of the night, me and your dad or whoever will read it. And we'll write a response back to you and then so like I thought that was interesting because like you're kind of you're writing it and like sending it out to the world. Not everyone has to do that, but also that it kind of relates to this TikTok that I saw where I wish I it was like over a year ago, so I have no idea who to credit, but it was definitely on TikTok. And it's such a great idea that, like, you know, there's going to be those awkward conversations or those difficult conversations as well, and it's something to teach our children that, you know, it's okay if you feel awkward about it. We can communicate in other ways. But just knowing that we're there to support you, I thought that, like, this is definitely something I will be doing when my kids get old enough to write. Like, I have a three year old and a four month old, one can't even hold a pencil, and, and so, like, I think that if you're listening to this and if you have kids that age, like, you know, that can write, that's a good thing, for them to do, but also as an adult, just putting pen to paper, there's just something about like physically writing it out to, or typing it out, and you just never know who you're going to impact and what people are, you know, and the impact on yourself for getting it off your chest, but also the impact of someone reading it, even if it's It's like a random person, you never know who you're going to touch by your words and your story. Yeah. So that's amazing. Yeah. Yeah. And that's a really cool idea. Um, um, my daughter knows how to write certain things, but she cannot, you know, I think write out like a feeling like that, but as soon as she can, I, that is, I'm taking that idea. Um, it's her mind. There's a lot of, um, Uh, really actionable items like that in this book. I think it's called the Mattering Movement. Uh, Jennifer, her last name starts with a B off the top of my head, I think. I can get it to you offline. Cool, yeah, we'll put it on the show notes, everyone. Yeah, yeah. But it's a lot about Helping parents of any age, you know, help their kids feel like they matter. And I really took to that book because, not that I didn't feel like I mattered to my parents, but I was a boy, you know, growing up in the 90s, um, in 2000s when, you know, if you had some mental health stuff, like you, you did not talk about that. No, not at all. Nor did like, you know, nor did really people know how to. even treat it. Um, you know, if you, if you were to talk about it and I just remember being like, ridden with anxiety, going to school, like to the point where like Sunday nights, I'd be crying, waking up, my parents and whatever. And then I'd be crying on the way to school. Once I got to school for the most part, every single time I was fine because I would, you know, my introvert itself, I just kind of hide. You know, myself and try not to be seen, but, you know, throughout my K 12 experience, there was really only one guidance counselor who ever was able to help me if you want to talk like more traditional mental health experience and You know, that was like fourth, fifth, sixth grade and and then I was on to another school And I never really saw her again and and everything and I mean Yeah, I still have the one book that she gave me. My daughter reads it now. It's called taming, taming your dragons, and everything. But like, you know, it ended up leading to clinical depression in college. And there's like tons of reasons for that. It wasn't like one thing sent me down that path. But I think, again, it's just another reminder that. Especially kids, like they're, they're dealing with a lot, whether they want to or not. And the more we can make them matter, the more that we can take away, like, you matter to me because you got good grades versus like, you matter to me because you are a person. And everything, like, I hope that, I hope that like our generation, like us as parents, like we can kind of exacerbate or stop exacerbating that. You know, because I think it's really prevalent in our, in our generation and, and I just don't, I don't, I obviously I don't want my kids to suffer, but I don't want anyone to suffer and yeah, so. No, that's completely true. So when I, part of my mental health career is I worked at a day program for adults with developmental disabilities and, I was, we did behavioral management and so it, You know, as I was taking on these interns who were still in college, and mentoring them in the field, I would always tell them like, Hey, it's not personal. You know, like their beha, you can like somebody, they're a great person. It's their behaviors that are maladaptive, so they're not a bad person. the behavior is bad and not what we want. So we're not trying to fix the person, we're trying to help them deal with whatever the issue is that's causing them to act out this certain way. And so, yeah, you like touched on it, like, I don't like, you know, I like that you get good grades. I love you because you're, you're my favorite person, you know, that kind of thing. And, and also, like, I try to do this with my daughter now, and sometimes I just slips out because it's just how I You know, we talk, but you know, she'll be like, I did it. And I'm like, I'm so proud of you. And then I was like, wait, how do you feel? Like, are you proud that you did that? You know, and, and being like caught, like, it's something that you have to like, consciously be aware of too, because we've gone through our whole life being like, so proud of you high five, you know, but then also teaching them to be proud of themselves as, you know, as parents, now we have to basically relearn everything we've ever learned. Right. And then, you know, and some of us will still screw it up. It's just, it's just the nature of being a parent. But it's, I, gosh, you, once you finally feel like you're done learning everything you need to learn, like here comes this little tiny human who's going to teach you like everything actually in life that you need to know. Um, and they're so observant already. Like You know, I, I don't know how your kids are, but you know, by the time my daughter was two, three, you know, now definitely at four, I mean, I was taking her and her friend to dance just this Monday. I was telling my wife afterward, and they're in the backseat talking to each other. And. The, uh, the little boy that we were with, he, he was mentioning how he wanted to be an astronaut. And that is something my daughter has said numerous times. And so I said, you know, Hey, Stella, like, you know, he just said he wanted to be an astronaut just like you. And she was like, wow, that's amazing. And then. She like takes a beat it goes, but I also want to be a chef and I want to be a turtle Which is a separate conversation, you know and everything and she has all these things already as a four year old That she wants to do and she said to me she's like How do I do it all? And I just said, buddy, like, I, I didn't say all of this to her, but I'm thinking to myself, like, that's one of the biggest lies we got told, you know, I think, like, our generation is like, whatever you want to be, like, you can be it, but I think, like, the more accurate thing to tell kids is, like, you don't need to just have one career, like, you're, if you are healthy and you are lucky, your working career is a very long time, so to think that you're going to do the same thing for others. You know, 30, 40, 50 years is pretty unrealistic. Um, so I, I just said to her, I was like, you can, you can do all those things when, when you want to, if you want to. And she's, she's like, oh, okay. You know, and then they just went back to their three and four year old conversation, but I was like, you're three and four, you know, and they're, they're already talking about these things and I hope they're not feeling pressure, you know, about it already, but it's definitely something that they're mindful of. Yeah. I mean, like. Oh my god, my, my toddler. Okay, so Mikayla, she is, like, she'll see a pair of ballerina shoes, and then all of a sudden she wants to be a ballerina. She see, she got this, like, paint, a rocket, which is really funny that you mentioned astronaut, and then now she plays rocket ships, and she wants to be an astronaut, and she has, like, my brother got her these little Spider Man walkie talkies, and then, so she'll just be like, she'll be like, blast off, you know? Um. And, and then she, you know, will see. What does she want to be the other? Oh, she wanted to be a doctor while I was pregnant because I would go to my doctor's appointments. And so she wanted to be a doctor and, and now she wants to be a veterinarian and her little stuffy is named Bubbles and she puts band aids on him. Like we're out of band aids in our house because this one stuffy, which is like the size of like, It's like really small. It's like the size of our hand, um, is covered in band aids. Like, real human people band aids, you know, not stuffy band aids. Um, I need to go just make some out of Velcro or something because she's running through our band aid supply so fast. Like, all of our first aid kits have nothing left in them. Um, but yeah, Kids totally just like, you know, the world's their oyster like they think of something they see it on TV They see it their friends talking about it They see us doing something and they're like, you know My kid will always want to like she's at the park right now with her dad with my husband and her little sister But if she was here, she'd be like right here like holding the mic up to her like, yeah but Yeah, it's really, it's really interesting and like, I really hope that they're my hope for my children is that they're like, creativeness and they're willing to explore things doesn't go away. I think it's very important that, you know, one, to take care of ourselves as parents, and to, like, also kind of give our children the room to grow while also not, you know, And sometimes it's unconscious, but like not stifling their light at the same time. So I think that's really important. Yeah, yeah, that that was like, uh, something I learned actually during that paternity leave right before I got laid off. I altered my schedule to what, in a way that I thought was going to be more helpful to my family, to my wife in particular and everything. And then I realized, and one, one of the big things I altered was my, my workout schedule. I'd been working out in the morning and I was like, I'm going to. get sleep because we're not sleeping, you know, and, and everything. And I would just be miserable is not the right word, but I, I would be, like fidgety and I would, I would just be on a, on a short fuse, because I, I hadn't like done anything for myself to like set me up for the day. So like, I'm very rigid about. I get up early. It's going to seem like crazy to you because it's, we're on different coasts, but I've been up since five o'clock in the morning. And, you know, I got my workout in, I had breakfast, all of this before the girls wake up because what I learned is like, I need that me time. If I'm going to be my best self for them, if I'm going to be able to get through the day and then I get, you know, like right now, a little break where I can do work. I can podcast. I can take a nap if I want to. Um, it's, it's kind of, you know, up to me, when they're resting, but that's also a very intentional thing. Like sometimes my oldest, she'll give me a hard time about it. She's like, I'm not tired. You know, I don't want to do that. And I did. Yeah. Buddy, this is, this is more just like, we need some time apart, because as much as I, I love you, we cannot physically be with each other all day long, and, like, that, that's not sustainable, like, that's not healthy, and everything, so it's more like learning to, both as a parent and as a child, like, You know, you can, you can be by yourself and be okay. You can be bored and be okay. Like you said, that creative light and everything, a lot of the, a lot of times that comes from being bored because you're, you're trying to think of ways to spice up your life or to do something different, whatever. And I, I think. I mean, we've, we've had to, like, check ourselves as parents, you know, every once in a while, uh, especially with our oldest, because she has every opportunity in the world now, you know, to do extracurriculars, and it's like, are we doing too much? Are we putting her in what my wife calls activity jail, or are we, you know, doing things that A, she wants to be doing, B, are, you know, good for her in, in a number of different ways, and, you know, C, like, is it, is it overkill? Like, that's, we always, we always have to check ourselves and to make sure that we're not putting her into You know, this, this grind already that is really easy to get sucked up into. My therapist called it, my therapist called it the matrix. And, I think that's a really good analogy for it. And so it's like really important for us as parents, like we're trying to teach them to stay out of the matrix, like be ambitious, have goals, be a good person, you know, do all the things that. You know, you'd want, somebody to do, especially your child, um, but don't feel like you need to always be doing something or to always be striving for the very best or, you know, whatever it is, like, sometimes just chilling or sometimes taking a day off or sometimes, you know, whatever is better for you, in the long run. Um, so that, that's a lot of, You know, what we focus on to just trying to, again, it's not anything we've mastered, but I think we've gotten better with it. Especially with time, like time is just like the ultimate, the more time you have with it, the more reps you can get, you know, doing something, you're going to get better at it. I mean, to go your workout thing, it's a muscle. You just have to exercise it. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Exactly. Well, I mean, is there anything else that you want to tell our listeners before we wrap up? I mean, the number one person who makes this even possible for me to do is my wife, and so I'll give her a shout out. But, you know, you were talking about the moms earlier in this episode, and, I am the only dad, like, in this. You know, group, the only stay at home, uh, dad, I'll clarify. And so I spend a lot of time around, you know, different women. And, you know, at first that was part of the adjustment. And you know, women are different than men and, especially, you know, me, I'm, I'm a very. Introverted person, but I love like, you know, sports and music. And, you know, so I do have things that I like, but, you know, I'm usually not going to be the person to, you know, start talking about it and everything, but, it's definitely been made easier, the transition by having. All the other moms be very supportive, you know, helping out, uh, become good friends with, with a number of them too. So, I think like, you know, my wife always uses that phrase, like it takes a village, you know, it really does. It looks different than it did for, you know, generations before us, but, you know, we can't. Do this alone. And we had to, like you said, for a little while during COVID. I mean, Stella, our oldest was born in the heat of COVID. It was July of 2020 and there wasn't any alternative, um, to it. But yeah, I think like now that we're in more regular times and whatever, and it's like, yeah, just let that community. Because if, if you're struggling or you're having mental health, challenges, like, again, a lot of people are experiencing the same thing. So maybe even just talking about it with other people's helpful, but at the very least, like opening yourself up to taking help from other people. It's like one of the best things you can do to and not just feeling like you have to do it all because you're the mom, you're the dad, like, take that pressure off of yourself and just, just allow, like, I, I, I try to like it. You know, have the kids come over and I'll be like, you know, go, go for a walk, go get a pedicure, go do something like, I can handle them. No one's more, no one's wilder than my kids. You know, it, it won't be a problem, but, yeah, I, I just. You know, I, I, I just really care about, you know, people and their mental health and, so I, you know, I hope that people are doing the things that they can to, to be healthy and to talk when they need to, and to get that help when they need to, but, you know, reach out to me if, if you ever want to have a, a personal conversation, I'm happy to do that, too. And how can people reach you? Yeah, I am, I can give you my email, to put in the, show notes, but I'm on Threads and, what's it called? Blue Sky now? Uh, CJ, CER, NIG, both of those, applications, softwares, websites, whatever, are, my handle. And my email's actually the same too, it's just with at gmail dot com. So, those are usually the best ways to get in touch. Cool. Yeah. And yeah, I'll definitely be putting those in the show notes so people can scroll down and grab them. But yeah, thank you so much for joining us today. Yeah. Thank you, Whitney. Again, it was a pleasure. And, um, yeah, hopefully, uh, we helped people out, but, um, just really appreciate the opportunity. I don't know about you, but I completely loved that episode with call-in because. Of my background in the mental health field and having someone be so vulnerable and open. I know how much. Courage that takes and how much compassion they have for other people when they are willing to share their own story and have people connect with them too. So I really hope that this resonated with you as well. And don't forget to continue following our. Our podcast because we have even more amazing guests. Yet to come. It's going to be every Monday. So yes, tune back in. Otherwise I will see you all on Thursday for another solo episode. Have a nice day. Everyone. I love you and sip some coffee for me because as you can tell. I am a little hyper and I need. To calm down. Okay, bye everyone.