37. The Mental Load of Parenthood and Why It Feels Like Too Much

Welcome back to Caffeinated Chaos - where we sip strong coffee and speak even stronger truths about parenting, business, and the beautiful mess in between.

Ever feel like your brain has 75 million tabs open and half of them are flashing red? Same. This episode is all about the mental load - that invisible, never-ending to-do list we carry in our heads every. single. day. From remembering school picture day to restocking groceries, managing a business, wiping butts (yep, literally), and everything in between… it’s A LOT.

💡 In this episode, Whitney shares:

• What the mental load actually is and why it’s so exhausting
• The sneaky ways it shows up (even when you're “not doing much”)
• Why you're NOT broken - you're just carrying too much
• 4 practical steps to lighten the load and reclaim your bandwidth
• A real talk reframe to ditch the guilt and honor what you do
• A calming moment to pause, breathe, and reset

✨ Actionable Tips Inside:

1. Make the invisible visible - brain dump every tab in your head
2. Delegate the doing and the thinking
3. Automate & simplify - make systems your BFF
4. Protect your bandwidth - if it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no
5. Reframe the guilt - you are not lazy, crazy, or failing

Whether you're running a business during nap time or trying to remember if you’ve had water today, this one’s for you, mama. You’re not alone. You’re not weak. You’re a freaking powerhouse carrying an invisible load that deserves to be seen, shared, and lightened.

Resources:

• Goal-Setting Template 
• Podcasters Monthly Networking Meets
• Balancing Business Growth and Parenthood Workbook

Cheers! Thank you for joining us for another episode. Have a chaotic moment, question, or topic you want us to cover? Drop us a message or leave a review! If you loved this episode, share it with a friend who thrives in beautiful chaos too.

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• Connect with us via email at ccpodcast@aguonstudios.com
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Transcript

0:00

Welcome to Caffeinated Chaos, where business deals happen between diaper changes and friendships are fueled by caffeine. I'm Whitney GaN, your host, and I'm here to talk all things business parenthood, and of course keeping up with the BFFs, whether you're juggling the boardroom, the playroom, or just here for some coffee fuel chaos. We've got you covered. Get ready for real talk, laughs and a whole lot of heart as we dive into the beautiful mess that is entrepreneurship, parenthood, and everything in between. So let's embrace the chaos together. Ated, of course. Welcome back to Caffe Chaos, where we are sipping strong coffee and talking even stronger truths about parenting business and the beautiful mess in between. Let's hop in. Okay, so first off. Ever feel like your brain has like 75 million tabs open at once and half of them are flashing red that say urgents? Well, and somehow you are the only one who can see them. That's the mental load and it's real. It's heavy, it's exhausting, and it is something way too many of us carry. The mental load is that invisible to-do list. We carry in our heads. It's remembering that it's picture day at school, that it's time to pay a bill, that the grocery list is running low and hey, laundry needs to be switched over. Oh, and don't forget, the toddler has decided that shoes are a prison. I mean, mine does for sure. It is planning, it's anticipating, it's managing all the things. Even if you have a partner, often the mental burden defaults to one person it's everything that we're thinking about doing. And if you're anything like me, you're thinking about doing so many things all the time, and it's why you're mentally tapped out by like 10:00 AM Even if you haven't quote unquote done that much on paper, it's because it is too much. You are running a household, you're managing a business, trying to keep humans alive and emotionally supported. And if you're anything like me, you're also trying to chase some kind of a dream in the leftover minutes of the day. So here's what makes it even heavier. Society often doesn't validate this kind of labor. You don't get a gold star for remembering your kids'. School lunches need to be nut free. You don't get a gold star for remembering your partner's favorite socks are finally clean and put away. But these things, these tiny things, they add up. They weigh you down. I once had a day where I sent out client proposals. I had a client's order in production on the line getting printed. I had a podcast interview and you guess what? I got a toddler in pull-ups and I got a baby in diapers. So you could just guess how many of those I had to change and still remembering to pack. Extra stuff in the diaper bag just in case no one applauded. But you know what? That day, that day, I was a superhero and it was amazing, but also very, very stressful. Okay, so you know me, I love an actionable step, and here we go. One, let's make the invisible visible. I want you to take all those mental load tabs that are currently open in your head, and I want you to write them all down. Every task, every reminder, every sticky mental note that you have. Okay. Not just what you do, but what you think about seeing it all in black and white helps you visualize just how much you are holding and how much you are handling mentally. Step two, I want you to delegate with without feeling guilty. If you have a partner, if you have somebody who could help you sit down with that list and divide it, not just the doing. The thinking. For example, instead of, can you help me with dinner? Try, can you fully be in charge of meal planning for this week? Mental labor includes deciding what's for dinner. Not just simply cooking it. Step three, I want you to automate and simplify wherever you can, do a brain dump of repetitive tasks and find ways to make them easier. I am a systems girl. I've talked about this on the podcast where. Coming up with a system that makes it easy delegating, automating my social media posts, that makes one less thing I have to handle in the moment. Can you do grocery deliveries? Maybe that's something that you can do. Can you auto pay the bills? Use a shared family calendar, which I have on my Google. The less you have to remember, the more you can exhale and breathe. Okay, step four, I want you to protect your bandwidth. This one I know is going to be hard for some of you, but it's so important. Say no to all those extra commitments if it's not a hell. Yeah, it's definitely unknown. Okay. Your capacity is precious and you're allowed to protect it like gold. All right, four. Reframing the guilt. It's easy to feel guilty for being tired, being snappy, or not unquote doing enough, but friend, you are doing so much just because it's invisible. It doesn't mean it doesn't count. I see you. You are not failing. You are carrying such a mental load that would crush any lesser human, and you are doing it with a smile on your face and with love. Of course you're tired, but you are not broken. You're just overloaded. It's time to be like Elsa and let it go. You don't need to be everything to everyone. Your kids don't need a perfect parent. They need a present one, and that really starts with taking care of yourself. Okay? So if you're feeling like your brain is about to explode and you can't hold one more thing in, pause, breathe. Let's do it right now. Just deep breath in and deep breath out. Okay, one more time. Deep breath in. And deep breath out. You are not alone. I know the mental load is real, and it is okay to finally say this is too much. You are not weak. It does not make you weak. You are wise enough to realize that you have hit your limit and it's time to build some boundaries. Here at Cafee Chaos, we normalize the chaos. We understand that we are always in the state of mind and we make space for all those messy moments and the mental marathon that we are running. At the same time, we understand that taking care of ourselves is what's important. Refilling our cup is what's important because you cannot help anyone else if you do not help yourself first. Okay. If you are someone who is feeling moved by this and you're like, Whitney, I need someone like you who is a systems person in my life, and if you need that for your business or wanna talk about your home life. Then reach out to us. Check us out on either C, chaos Podcasts on Instagram or Threads, or also at studios. You can go to our website, again, studios.com. Of course, friend. All these are in the show notes, so you don't even have to remember them. Okay? So please just reach out, tell us your story. Interact with us. Connect with us. Let's talk. Okay. If this felt good for you and you really liked this episode, I want you to share this episode with a friend who needs to hear it and know that she too is not crazy, lazy, or failing because honey, you are not, you are just carrying too much and it's time to let it go. Thank you for hanging out with me today. Go refill your coffee, lighten that load, and remember, deep breath in. Deep breath out. You got this. You are awesome and you are strong. I will see you all next time here at Cafee Chaos. That's a wrap on another episode of Caffeinated Chaos. I hope you're leaving with a little more clarity, a lot more inspiration, and maybe even an extra shot of motivation. If you love today's episode, don't forget to follow us. Leave a review and share it with a friend who could use just a little chaos and caffeine in their life. Until next time, keep embracing the mess. Chase your dreams and make magic happen. One caffeinated, chaotic moment at a time. I will see you all soon. Bye now.