54. Simplifying Home Systems for ADHD Moms with Guest Allison Converse

Today’s guest is Allison Converse, ADHD home and systems coach and the founder of Calm Cottage Coaching. With a background in occupational therapy and personal experience downsizing her own home, Allison helps overwhelmed ADHD moms declutter, simplify routines, and create functional, realistic home systems—without the guilt or Pinterest-perfect pressure.

In this episode, Allison shares how she supports moms through private coaching, including virtual room and closet makeovers, home reset programs, and realistic, neurodivergent-friendly strategies. We dive deep into the struggles many moms face with managing their homes, the harmful myth of the "perfect house," and how to start letting go of guilt to build a space that actually works for your family.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re drowning in stuff, stuck in chaos, or constantly behind, this one’s for you.

Connect with Allison:

• Instagram: @calmcottagecoaching
• Website: www.calmcottagecoaching.com
• Work With Her: Learn more about coaching programs and resources on her site!
• Check our her resource: https://calmcottagecoaching.myflodesk.com/laundryhackfreebie

Cheers! Thank you for joining us for another episode. Have a chaotic moment, question, or topic you want us to cover? Drop us a message or leave a review! If you loved this episode, share it with a friend who thrives in beautiful chaos too.

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The views and opinions expressed by guests on Caffeinated Chaos are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views, beliefs, or positions of Whitney Aguon or Aguon Studios LLC. The content shared by guests is for informational and entertainment purposes only. We encourage listeners to do their own research and form their own...

Transcript

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Welcome to Caffeinated Chaos, where business deals happen between diaper changes and friendships are fueled by caffeine. I'm Whitney GaN, your host, and I'm here to talk all things business parenthood, and of course keeping up with the BFFs, whether you're juggling the boardroom, the playroom, or just here for some coffee fuel chaos. We've got you covered. Get ready for real talk, laughs and a whole lot of heart as we dive into the beautiful mess that is entrepreneurship, parenthood, and everything in between. So let's embrace the chaos together. Ated, of course. On today's podcast, we have Alison Converse. Who is an A DHD home and systems coach and the founder of Calm Cottage Coaching, where she helps A DHD moms simplify their homes and daily routines with a background in occupational therapy and personal experience downsizing their own home. She understands the unique challenges A DHD families face. Through private coaching, including room makeovers, closet makeovers, and practical home strategies, she helps moms create functional clutter freak spaces without the overwhelm. Allison's approach is all about the realistic solutions that help that work with A DHD brains, so moms can spend less time managing their homes and more time enjoying life with their family and more time enjoying life with their families. Let's welcome Allison to the podcast. Hi Allison. Welcome to the podcast. Hey, thanks for having me. How are you doing on the east coast? Yeah, doing good. The spring is here, so we have pollen everywhere. Are you allergic? I'm not allergic. It's just a lot. It's like covers my car. When it rains. It's just like yellow streams everywhere. Oh, it's really bad. You think about that. Yeah. That sucks. But it's nice that everything's blooming. That's fair. It has just finally started raining here in California for the last three days. And to be a typical Californian, I'm always like, we needed it. And I'm like, my area really didn't need it, but, it's still very nice. I like watching rain fall through the window and especially when it's like a good rainstorm. It's very relaxing. I like to do most of my podcast editing during that time. That's great. It is relaxing. Plus the, yeah, plus the kids sleep in a little longer when it rains.'cause it's still dark. So For sure, anytime I can get the kids to nap longer. That's great. Yes. All right. So Allison, why don't you tell our listeners a little bit about yourself. I know they got a little bit in my intro, but why don't you deep dive into who you are and what you do. Yeah, so I'm an A DHD home and systems coach. Basically means that I can help you with any kind of system in your home, whether it's decluttering, organizing, if you're struggling with home tasks, those kind of things. I have a background as an occupational therapist, so I bring a lot of that into what I do with my clients. We work a lot on like, what are your goals and your vision for your home. How can I make this process easier for you to work with your A DHD brain? Problem solving through like the struggles that you're having in your home? Yeah, that's a snippet of what I do with my clients, but I'm a mom of two, so I have a five and 7-year-old. We downsized our home about three years ago. Mm-hmm. And, went from 3000 square feet to 1600 square feet and whoa. We also have three animals. So we did a huge downsize, but it was really nice. I mean it was stressful in the process, but I noticed like our old house, we just weren't using all the rooms. We had more stuff than we really needed and so downsizing has just worked really well for us. I feel like cleanup's easier. That's fair. I spend less time cleaning the house in general.'Cause there's less to clean and we. Know where everything goes now, because we just don't have that excess overflowing of stuff. So it's a lot calmer. And is that why your Instagram handle and your handles are calm. Cottage coaching, that's part of it. Yeah. And I just, I also love the beach. So cottage, like I just, oh yeah. Yeah. So. Yeah, that. Love that. That is it. And listeners, don't worry if you didn't catch that. We will definitely go over how to contact Allison at the end and everything as always will be in the show notes. So wow, downsizing. Yeah. You basically split your living quarters in half. Yes. So did that definitely like really bring out your systems? Were you doing systems before that or was that kind of the spark? No, the spark probably happened when my kids were both under two. Okay. So, we downsized in 2021, the end of 20, 20, 21. And I had two kids under two at, in 2019. So before all that happened, I was starting to get overwhelmed with all the toys. We had two playrooms because we turned the dining room into a playroom. We had toys, like I wasn't cleaning up the toys'cause they were just dumped everywhere. And I was just completely overwhelmed and I was like, what in the world? That's gotta be different than this. I would just keep reorganizing'cause I'm really good at organizing. Organizing. I was like, oh, just keep reorganizing the same things over and over and it would just spill out and they would just dump out again and again. And so, I started learning about minimalism and I don't go like super far minimalism, right? Like we still have toys and all the things, but, then from there I started decluttering our own things and just learning how every time I let go of things, it was like a weight lifted. I was just like, oh, I feel better like inside too, because clutter can really cause a lot of chaos in your brain, even though Yeah. You know, you're seeing it. So, yeah, so that's kind of where I started. And then I just really loved talking about it. And then I was like, oh, I, after we downsized and I stopped working in the hospital system in my job as an occupational therapist, I was like, oh, I could do this as a business somehow. And so that's kind how it came about. Yeah. Isn't it so funny how like we continue to learn new things as we become parents and Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's insane. And really, I don't know, I think it's, I mean, my kids are three and eight months right now and I'm still learning things like constantly. And it's so great too because having guests like you and everyone else I've already had onto, it's most of. The guests are parents with older children than me. So I'm like, oh yes, please tell me my, your secrets. It's like being able to ask all these other moms who've been there to give me tips because my kids are still so young. And one of my favorite things is you were saying about reorganizing I got my daughter on this kind of like system where. We were at Costco and there was like these clear like shoebox tubs full of stuff that you can get, and it was a four pack. And so we got home and our business makes stickers, so I made a bunch of stickers of her favorite things that relate to her toys and she plastered them all over these clear bins. And so now she knows. Oh, I want Barbies. I go to the Barbie bin, like, I want Bluey. Yay. I go to the bluey bin. And then, so we have a simple rule that you can't have more than one bin out. And so like you go get the bluey bin and then you can play with all the bluey stuff. And then once you're done, you can put it back if you wanna get Barbie or dress up or anything like that. I've been lucky that she keeps everything in her three big boxes in her four little boxes. But now that we have, my little one Jasmine and she's starting to crawl around. Mikayla being a great big sister is always like, look at this. And she'll like, bring stuff over to the baby and then the baby like throws it.'cause that's the only thing she can do right now. And so we have balls everywhere, but at least I'm not stepping on bluey toys anymore. Yeah. I am so impressed that she's keeping that system like going so well that's, so awesome. You're teaching her so young. Yeah, it's so nice because before I was just like, Legos were being stepped on Barbie, like heels were being stepped on and I was just like, Uhuh. If I get you a box and we can make as many stickers as you can fit on that box, you gotta put all the Barbie stuff in there. So my little version of organization is right there. You probably have good, insane systems. Because also working with moms with A DHD, you have to think a certain way, and approach it from a different direction, right. Yeah, I definitely customize it to each client because every client, even though majority of my clients do have a DH, adhd mm-hmm. They all think a little differently and they all like struggle with different things. So I very much customize it to what is gonna actually work for them in their home and what isn't working? Or what have they already tried that hasn't worked? And I customize okay, well so since these things haven't worked, let's try this. Or let's, you know, like, really figure it out for you. And yeah, I do have good systems in my house. My house isn't perfect. I don't teach, like your house has to be perfectly clean or it has to be all these matching bins or anything. Mm-hmm. I do love labels and I do love the clear bins, but I find that once. My clients have decluttered stuff. They find empty bins and they can reuse stuff that they already have to where it doesn't have to be like all matchy matchy unless that's what they want. And some want that, so that's fine too. Nice. And then so can I ask you had mentioned that you wanna help moms break free from this guilt of not having the perfect house or not having the perfect Instagram spaces. I know that our last couple episodes about mom guilt and like keeping up with that quote unquote Insta Mom perfection isn't just not suitable. Do you find that with your clients and your work. Yeah, because now there's organization shows, there's Pinterest perfect homes and the things you see on Instagram of it has to be looked this certain way and it's really not geared towards moms with A-D-H-D-I feel like. A lot of moms come to me and they feel like failures. I mean, even if you don't have a DHD, you already have that guilt feeling of like, I can't even keep up with my home. I feel like I'm a failure. Those kind of thoughts going through your head. And I definitely don't agree with how. It is put out there of how your home has to be perfect and it has to be mess free, especially when you have kids at home, like you're gonna have messes. It's all about making it, it's all about making it, like, let's make it simple, easier to clean up with less stuff. Mm-hmm. And make it work as a system that works for you and your family and your kids because it's not gonna be perfect. And even though you might feel shame right now, like. Let it go because I think there's so many moms struggling out there. And yeah, and just know that you're not alone and know that, just because you're having trouble keeping up with your home, it doesn't make you a failure. It doesn't make you inadequate or we have so much responsibilities put on us already as moms, like, we have to give ourselves a lot of grace. Yeah, 100%. I definitely agree with that. I feel like those topics too relate so much to the audience and the people who listen to this podcast where I feel like no matter who you are, no matter what topic we are giving yourself, grace is always like a great first step in understanding one yourself too, because. You just, you know, it's really, more, to me it's more about being present with your family and I think that you would agree, right? Oh yeah, for sure. And you don't wanna spend all your time cleaning up and cleaning and reorganizing and all that when you are not able to actually spend time with your family. So yeah, I totally agree with that. So, okay, so we love actionable steps here. What can I do first to like start chipping away? Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I always teach my clients to start small. Mm-hmm. So even when we're tackling like a whole playroom, for example, I will tell them start small. Like start with one bin, start with the stuffy category, and go through that. Break it down really small because when you start small, it sets you up for success and then you're able to be like, oh, okay, I finished this little space. I can move on to another small space. And then you make your way around the whole room and it doesn't even have to happen in a whole day, like Right. I don't even teach that. Like, you start small, like little chunks of time that is feasible for you because you can do it when your kids are napping or when you have a few minutes to spare. Starting small is huge. Awesome. Yeah. It reminds me of this quote, I don't know whose Instagram I saw it off of, but it was a reel where it was like. If you do nothing else, remember this like, quote, it was like, don't put it down. Put it away. And so I always tell myself like, when I take off my jacket, okay, don't put it down. Put it away cause then that's one less thing that's just like sitting on my couch or one less thing that's on my bed. And so definitely starting small and figuring out, like you said. Something that you can do in a small period of time, will definitely help. Like for me, it's okay, I get home. I, where do I put my purse? Where do I normally put it? Where does it store? You know, that kind of thing. And so I always think in my head about that Instagram reel. It's like, don't put it down. Put it away. I. I love that. That's a great reminder.'cause I'm always like, everything has a home. Mm-hmm. And sometimes that overwhelms people, but I'm like literally like everything should have a place. It goes back to so you know where it is and you know where it goes. So like you said, your purse, it probably goes on the same hook or goes in the same spot. When you come in the door, like every time, so like if you know where it goes, you can find it again and you're not searching the whole house for the purse or the cup or whatever the thing is because you know where it belongs. So I totally agree with that too. Yeah, we've had to, so we've cheated at our house. So my daughter, again, still three, she gets the concept that her shoes gonna a certain place, right? Her shoes gonna a certain place. She has a little small hook for her jacket, but she'll switch out which backpack she wants to use. And so whenever she starts favoring a certain backpack, we stick an air tag in it because she'll like take it to the room or she'll take it to another part of the house. And so what we do is like when she's like freaking out and she can't find it, we'll like first prompt her to retrace her steps. Okay. Where was the last time you had it? Like try to teach her like. To remember where things are, but then if she really can't find it, we just start like beeping it through the air tag and we're like, okay, now we're playing hide and go seat. Go find it. And she'll like search each room until she finds the beeps. And then you're like, once she's over and I'm like, she hasn't used the Mickey backpack in like a week. Okay, let's switch it to the yellow backpack. And so yeah, that's our little cheat for that. But you're so right. They're smart. Yeah, if we find a home for stuff, it definitely helps because even when I see it with myself and my toddler, it's like I can just say, go put your shoes and socks on, and she knows exactly which box by the door has her specific shoes and socks, and then she even has memorized where mommy's shoes go. So she'll like go and she'll be like, mommy, I got your tennis shoes. And I'm like, it's raining. And she'll like run back and she goes, I got your rain boots. And I'm like, awesome. She's a big helper, big, big helper ever since to having the little one, it was so nice to see her naturally step into the role because me and my husband being older siblings as well, we were like, okay, we don't necessarily wanna be like, now you have to help us. A little off topic, but she naturally stepped into that and during that time too, I felt like she was picking up a lot more of these systems because we were like, okay, the baby bottle's gotta go in the sink and they have to go certain here. And so we were like being intentional on where the baby stuff was going because packing a diaper bag, you wanna know where like the spoons and the baby food and the milk and all that is, you know. So I think she picked up a lot of that, like the systems that we had for the newborn and was kind of like. Making her own systems too. Like where's my shoes? And I'm like, cool. We made it really easy though. Like all of our stuff is, like, all our boxes are black for our shoes so that, you know, our messy shoes can go inside and nobody sees them. Yeah, that's, but for hers, we intentionally made them like it's green polka dot. So she knows, to teach her, this is your like, fun box. This is where your shoes go. Oh, she sounds like she's really good with like routines. Like she probably does really well with like checklists or getting through a routine too. Oh, she loves holding the grocery shopping list. Mm-hmm. You know? Even though most of the time me and my husband go to the store without a list or it's like a text message string of like me and him being like, we need eggs. Oh, we need this. You know, whoever's at the store, she'll like, carry a piece of paper that she scribbles on and she'll be like, we need five eggs. And I'm like, oh. Oh, okay. Five. And it's so funny, we had to teach her that they, they come in bigger sets because she goes, no, we just need five. And she'll try to open the box and just take five. Oh no. At the store. But yeah, so I, I love seeing her move into these systems. So I think it's really also a little off topic, but it's really important that when us as parents have systems, we're basically modeling that for our children as well and setting them up to hopefully inherent good systems. Yeah. And I think starting them out young is awesome, but mm-hmm. Even if you haven't started your kids out young, learning about like, where things ha are homed or decluttering or, learning to like let go of items, like you can still start that at a later age too, and it, it can still be really successful for them. Yeah. Okay. So since we started talking about kids, so I'm gonna ask, what do you find is your favorite and or your hardest part about being a parent and now a business owner since you've left Occupational therapy? Yeah. Let's see. Hmm. My hardest probably just. Sometimes I have trouble like stopping, like balancing a little bit. Mm-hmm. Because I love what I do so much and you know, my clients will check in with me or I'll wanna check in with them and see how things are going. So I try to do most of my business stuff, when they're in school. Now luckily they're both in elementary school, so I have a good chunk of time, but sometimes, you know, something will come up or I'll be like. Or I'll think of something, I'm like, oh, I wanna go do this, like right now. So sometimes trying to set those BI guess it's more boundaries. Setting a better boundary is challenging for me at times because I'm like, I'm gonna forget if I don't do it right now. Or, or I'm like, hyperfocused on a project and I'm like, I really just wanna get this part done. You know? Or Yeah. So I would say the boundary part is challenging for me. So I've been really trying this year to like when they're home and not watching tv, like, I'm present, I'm with them, you know? Mm-hmm. So that's probably the challenging part. That's fair. I feel like that's probably the most relatable to everyone. It's just like, yeah. When does business stop and like family and the ebb and flow of it too. Like some days, you know, like if a project's due some days it's like mostly business and then other days with birthdays, always family more? Yeah. That kind of thing. And yeah, I would definitely agree. Okay. So do you, in that, do you have a chaotic moment for us? Because, you know, we're caffe chaos, we need a little chaos. Um, we need a little tea. Or coffee, I guess chaotic moment. As in like with parenting and business or just in general? Just in general. Anything that, you know, maybe something that taught you a life lesson or something that you just think is funny and you wanna share. Hmm. Well, I mean the downsizing journey was a little chaotic, like I bet. Yeah. Deciding like. What to keep and how to get rid of things.'cause we probably got rid of half of our stuff. Yeah. Furniture, like tons of things. Like that journey and then just, it feeling chaotic'cause the boxes and the eruptions with trying to get it done and stuff. So it was chaotic but it was good because it. Taught me a lot of like mm-hmm. What we really needed and what we really value and what really doesn't matter as much. So Allison, so if somebody is like, listening and they're like, Ooh, okay, tell me a little bit more. Can you tell us a little bit more about like, what you do, how you work with your clients, like kind of the process. Since I work with mostly A DHD moms, I very much keep my programs like short term because I feel like, with a DHD you can lose motivation. You get in just a lot of, making too many decisions for too prolonged time, right? It's just a lot. So, I have like a seven day a DHD Home Reset program where we focus on just like a small space and then we work on mostly on like home tasks and getting you like a system in your home, like a quick fix for those seven days. Um, my main program is. Thir, uh, my 30 day room makeover. So 30 days we tackle one room, we go from the decluttering to organizing to more of a functional design for your mm-hmm. For that room. So I actually will mock up a floor plan of your space and give you a visual with all the exact measurements and we can move furniture around and make it like to where it flows and functions better for you and your family for that room. Mm-hmm. And I have a workbook we get on calls together. Lots of high touch with me, texting access,'cause I do everything virtually. So you would send me pictures and, you would work through that space in any struggles you're having in that space. That's so cool. I guess I never thought of it like, because you do organization that I didn't think that you would like have like a moving furniture layout. I think that's so cool that it's like all encompassing.'cause you are right the way a room flows. Definitely. You know, you don't wanna get to those pinch points in traffic, that kind of block, you know. I'm trying to think of what, like HGTV would say it was, but you know, the the natural like flow, like, oh, it's easy access or whatever. Mm-hmm. They would say, but yeah. That's interesting.'cause I didn't even think of like that would be a thing. So that's really cool that you offer that. Yeah. I like to have that as part of the roommate ever just because, I found that a lot of my clients, they do, the way they have the room set up with certain furniture, it's like something's blocking something or it's not quite fitting right, or it's not functional, like you can't get to it or, so it just made sense to have, and so it's really fun for me to create that little room and give the client a visual of yeah, what it can actually look like and give some different options, and just where it flows and functions better for them. Love that. Oh my God, that's so awesome. Okay. Perfect. Do you have any final thoughts for our listeners? Just. You know, back to the guilt and the shame that you might be feeling. Just know you're not alone. That it, the goal is not perfection in your home. And to have like, no messes at all or to have everything clean at one time, like, that's just not possible for most people. And what you see out there online and on shows is not always realistic to how we live our lives. So just to, you know, give yourself more grace and, that I'm here for you if you need support in your home. Awesome. Speaking of being there for you, how can people find you connect with you? Where are you at? Yeah, so, calm Cottage Coaching, if you look that up anywhere, I'm mostly active on Instagram and Threads. Mm-hmm. But my website, you can put it in the show notes, it's just Yeah. WW dot, calm cottage coaching.com. I do offer a free a curiosity call where you can just jump on a call with me and we can chat through like your struggles in your home and what your vision is and what your needs are and such too. So yeah, listeners, these will definitely be in the show notes. Well, thank you for joining us, Allison. This was really fun. Thank you for having me. You're welcome. I really enjoyed it. That's a wrap on another episode of Caffeinated Chaos. I hope you're leaving with a little more clarity, a lot more inspiration, and maybe even an extra shot of motivation. If you love today's episode, don't forget to follow us. Leave a review and share it with a friend who could use just a little chaos and caffeine in their life. Until next time, keep embracing the mess. Chase your dreams and make magic happen. One caffeinated, chaotic moment at a time. I will see you all soon. Bye now.