59. Sorry For Existing? Why Moms Apologize For Taking Up Space

In today’s episode, we’re tackling something so many moms (myself included) do without even realizing it: apologizing for existing. Whether you’ve caught yourself whispering sorry while calming your screaming toddler, taking too long in line, or just daring to exist loudly in a world that tells moms to stay small — this one’s for you.

I’ll share a powerful story about a mama I met in a mall bathroom, the gentle lesson she didn’t even know she taught me, and the ways we can all stop shrinking ourselves just to make others comfortable.

We’re here to take up space — unapologetically.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

✨ Why moms feel conditioned to apologize for taking up space
✨ How to pause before saying “sorry” and ask: am I really doing something wrong?
✨ Small mindset shifts to replace apologies with gratitude and confidence
✨ How to model unapologetic presence for your kids
✨ Why we need to support and uplift each other in small, everyday ways

Plus — I’ll tell you about the simple stroller hack I shared with a stranger that made her day (and can make yours too).

📩 Share the Love:

If this episode made you feel seen, send it to a mom friend who needs this gentle reminder too. Leave a review on your favorite podcast platform to help us reach even more mamas who need to hear they belong.

Cheers! Thank you for joining us for another episode. Have a chaotic moment, question, or topic you want us to cover? Drop us a message or leave a review! If you loved this episode, share it with a friend who thrives in beautiful chaos too.

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The views and opinions expressed by guests on Caffeinated Chaos are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views, beliefs, or positions of Whitney Aguon or Aguon Studios LLC. The content shared by guests is for informational and entertainment purposes only. We encourage listeners to do their own research and form their own...

Transcript

0:00

Welcome to Caffeinated Chaos, where business deals happen between diaper changes and friendships are fueled by caffeine. I'm Whitney GaN, your host, and I'm here to talk all things business parenthood, and of course keeping up with the BFFs, whether you're juggling the boardroom, the playroom, or just here for some coffee fuel chaos. We've got you covered. Get ready for real talk, laughs and a whole lot of heart as we dive into the beautiful mess that is entrepreneurship, parenthood, and everything in between. So let's embrace the chaos together. Ated, of course. Why do we say, sorry? When we're simply standing still, when we're changing a diaper, trying to calm a screaming taller, or pushing through a double stroller through target. I mean, why do we feel like we have to shrink ourselves to make others more comfortable? Today we're talking about something so many of us moms do without even thinking. We are apologizing for taking up space physically, emotionally, mentally, and guess what? Mamas it is time to stop. Today's episode is for the moms who find themselves whispering. Sorry. For just being, for crying in public, taking up too much room in the checkout line, or daring to exist loudly in a world that tells moms to stay small. So picture this. I'm in the mall bathroom with my toddler. We're all good. She's potty training. We are zooing a stall. We don't need. The changing table anymore for her. A mom is changing her newborn. She's juggling a diaper bag. She's got multiple shopping bags and a stroller while the baby fusses. Clearly, she is doing her best, and yet she keeps telling me that she's sorry, that she's in the way, that she's almost done, that she promises when I don't even need the changing table. So here's the thing. She wasn't in the way. She's in the bathroom doing exactly what the bathroom is for, taking care of her baby and existing. I'm in the bathroom taking care of my toddler. We are all good. There was nothing wrong. And yet she apologized over and over like she needed permission to be there and. I realized I did it too. I apologize when no one's even rushing me and I feel like I'm going too slow. We've been conditioned to believe that moms should be convenient, invisible, quiet, even while literally raising the next generation. Okay, so let's get real unlearning. This is not going to be overnight. We get that, but here are some few things that I've been working on since meeting this mom in the bathroom that I'm gonna share with you. Okay. Pause before the, sorry. Ask yourself, am I actually doing something wrong or am I just apologizing for existing? I've done this a lot and it is simply just for existing two replace, I'm sorry. With thank you. Instead of sorry for taking so long try. Thanks for waiting. The smallest switch, rewires how we see ourselves. And how others see us. Three. Let your presence be unapologetic. You belong in the room, that line, that park, that workplace, that dream. You belong there, mama. You do not have to be apologetic for it. Four, talk about it with your kids model, what it looks like to be kind, but confident. Let them hear you say, I'm allowed to be here five. Catch your friends doing it and remind them that they're allowed to take up space too. If you see another mama, two, it doesn't necessarily have to be a friend, but if you see another mama, two support on each other, sometimes we don't even notice that we're doing it until someone gives us a gentle reminder, Hey, no need to apologize. You're not doing anything wrong. See, when I left that bathroom. I saw how she was trying to balance three shopping bags on her shoulder while pushing a stroller, and she had the cutest little baby. So what did I do? I went to my stroller. And I was like trying to get, we have giant Caribbean clips on our strollers and that's what we use to hold our shopping bags. And I am struggling to get this Carine off of our cart. My husband's asking me if I need help and I I get it off, and I was like, I'll be right back. And I went back into the bathroom and she was already making her way out. Like again, she had three big bags and. I was just like, mama, here I got you. And I clipped it to her cart. And I go, here, put your bags on here. Just make sure to balance it out with the baby's weight and don't leave the baby by herself with the bags clipped. And she looked like she was ready to hug a complete stranger. And I was like, I got you. You're good. Have a great day. And then she walked off and she saw me in the food court and she was just like, thank you so much. We need to support each other and we need to be there for each other. Even though I didn't know who she was and she didn't know who I was, but it's our reminder to hold space for each other, but also that we personally are allowed to take up space that we're allowed to fully exist. We're not being too much, we're not being too loud. We're not being too emotional. We're not being too visible. We are raising humans, and that takes a village sometimes. It took me until my second child to figure out that Carine trick, but I hope that it makes life a lot easier for her and hopefully she'll pass it on to the next mama she sees, because we need to one look out for each other, but we also need to stop apologizing for ourselves. So the next time you catch yourself whispering, sorry for just being there, I want you to take a deep breath. I want you to pause and say to yourself that I am not a burden. I am a mother and I belong here. Alright, thanks for tuning into this episode. If this episode made you feel seen, send it to a mom friend who needs this gentle reminder too. Be sure to leave us a review because it lets us get out to more people and I want you to remember, you don't need to shrink to fit in. The world needs the fullness of who we are, who you are. Until next time, keep your coffee strong, your boundaries stronger, and your apologize reserved for actual mistakes, not for your existence. Go get a mama's. That's a wrap on another episode of Caffeinated Chaos. I hope you're leaving with a little more clarity, a lot more inspiration, and maybe even an extra shot of motivation. If you love today's episode, don't forget to follow us. Leave a review and share it with a friend who could use just a little chaos and caffeine in their life. Until next time, keep embracing the mess. Chase your dreams and make magic happen. One caffeinated, chaotic moment at a time. I will see you all soon. Bye now.